damage- noun
1. injury or harm that reduces value or usefulness:The storm did considerable damage to the crops.
2. damages, Law. the estimated money equivalent for detriment or injury sustained.
3. Often damages. Informal. cost; expense; charge:What are the damages for the lubrication job on my car?
wait- noun
1. a period of waiting; pause, interval, or delay.
According to http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/ "Symbols are the language of dreams. A symbol can invoke a feeling or an idea and often has a much more profound and deeper meaning than any one word can convey. At the same time, these symbols can leave you confused and wondering what that dream was all about."
Why am I writing all this?
I have odd dreams; I know many of us think we have odd dreams.
I used to think everyone dreamed the way I do, in time I learned that no, they don't. The depth, detail, and intensity of my dreams can be disturbing.
My brother used to love starting every day talking about my dreams; I wonder sometimes now if he ever dreamed.
He was born with a brain tumor and was in pain every day of his life, though he did not really understand that as he was born in pain, was never without it.
I know he had difficulty sleeping.
I have absolutely no memory of him sharing any of his dreams, just building stories and ideas around mine.
I had an acquaintance some years ago that began asking me the first two words I woke thinking about each day; if they found them ominous they stayed home.
Last night I dreamt about a group of people that dressed in vintage fashion and wandered around shooting photos or film clips in black and white, the prominent style in the dream seemed to be circa 1920's-30's.
As the dream progressed the mood became darker, more frenzied and I was left with the overwhelming realization that their frivolous capers hid violence and unrest.
I was struck by flashes like rot and decay behind a flaking mirror.
The two words I was overwhelmed by for hours after waking were Damaged Waiting.
When my grandmother passed away she left behind many things undone as many of us will I am certain; few are ever "ready" to leave.
Perhaps because she was a child of the Depression or maybe just because she felt confined and limited, she left shelves and boxes of unused fabric and notions and patterns, drawers full of lovely nightwear that she never used, unopened packages of vintage hosiery.
She left an entire life unlived, stored in nooks and crannies.
As a vivid dreamer I have a lot of dream dictionaries, interpretation guides etc. However since my hasty grudging move a year ago I have not even had the energy to really unpack. No painting, no sewing, no crafts, no bookshelves full of knowledge inviting me to explore.
I accept that I am not the same as I used to be physically, that I have difficulty with coordination-but I was relearning how to paint and in an entirely new style that I was enjoying.
I do not have enough funds for laundry so am limited to the occasional kindness of family allowing me to do a load or two in their machine when I can get a ride there, sewing even with the fabric I had ready and waiting seems distant even if I found the supplies in the mountain waiting to be unpacked.
I often feel like those people I used to dread interacting with because they smelled so...lived in. I get it now; lack of towels and clean clothing will do that to you. After a while you start to think why bother with a shower? No one cares, you have nothing clean to put on, it just doesn't matter.
I kept going back to why those words...damaged...waiting...
is the waiting causing the damage?
is the damage causing the waiting?
are they feeding each other using hosts' lethargy unaware?
As I began typing this post and remembering my brother's fascination with dreams and his ability to rise above, I thought about my grandmother's unfulfilled wait for a life that never came, and I realize at least one possible portent for me in a dream of damaged waiting.
Life is pain; it teaches us which movements and motions we can withstand and which to avoid. Sometimes knowing what will break you is about testing that edge. But you have to move, dance, live, explore, reach, dare or there is no basis for growth and knowledge, only waiting for the damge to be revealed behind the mirror.
1. injury or harm that reduces value or usefulness:The storm did considerable damage to the crops.
2. damages, Law. the estimated money equivalent for detriment or injury sustained.
3. Often damages. Informal. cost; expense; charge:What are the damages for the lubrication job on my car?
wait- noun
1. a period of waiting; pause, interval, or delay.
According to http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/ "Symbols are the language of dreams. A symbol can invoke a feeling or an idea and often has a much more profound and deeper meaning than any one word can convey. At the same time, these symbols can leave you confused and wondering what that dream was all about."
Why am I writing all this?
I have odd dreams; I know many of us think we have odd dreams.
I used to think everyone dreamed the way I do, in time I learned that no, they don't. The depth, detail, and intensity of my dreams can be disturbing.
My brother used to love starting every day talking about my dreams; I wonder sometimes now if he ever dreamed.
He was born with a brain tumor and was in pain every day of his life, though he did not really understand that as he was born in pain, was never without it.
I know he had difficulty sleeping.
I have absolutely no memory of him sharing any of his dreams, just building stories and ideas around mine.
I had an acquaintance some years ago that began asking me the first two words I woke thinking about each day; if they found them ominous they stayed home.
Last night I dreamt about a group of people that dressed in vintage fashion and wandered around shooting photos or film clips in black and white, the prominent style in the dream seemed to be circa 1920's-30's.
As the dream progressed the mood became darker, more frenzied and I was left with the overwhelming realization that their frivolous capers hid violence and unrest.
I was struck by flashes like rot and decay behind a flaking mirror.
The two words I was overwhelmed by for hours after waking were Damaged Waiting.
When my grandmother passed away she left behind many things undone as many of us will I am certain; few are ever "ready" to leave.
Perhaps because she was a child of the Depression or maybe just because she felt confined and limited, she left shelves and boxes of unused fabric and notions and patterns, drawers full of lovely nightwear that she never used, unopened packages of vintage hosiery.
She left an entire life unlived, stored in nooks and crannies.
As a vivid dreamer I have a lot of dream dictionaries, interpretation guides etc. However since my hasty grudging move a year ago I have not even had the energy to really unpack. No painting, no sewing, no crafts, no bookshelves full of knowledge inviting me to explore.
I accept that I am not the same as I used to be physically, that I have difficulty with coordination-but I was relearning how to paint and in an entirely new style that I was enjoying.
I do not have enough funds for laundry so am limited to the occasional kindness of family allowing me to do a load or two in their machine when I can get a ride there, sewing even with the fabric I had ready and waiting seems distant even if I found the supplies in the mountain waiting to be unpacked.
I often feel like those people I used to dread interacting with because they smelled so...lived in. I get it now; lack of towels and clean clothing will do that to you. After a while you start to think why bother with a shower? No one cares, you have nothing clean to put on, it just doesn't matter.
I kept going back to why those words...damaged...waiting...
is the waiting causing the damage?
is the damage causing the waiting?
are they feeding each other using hosts' lethargy unaware?
As I began typing this post and remembering my brother's fascination with dreams and his ability to rise above, I thought about my grandmother's unfulfilled wait for a life that never came, and I realize at least one possible portent for me in a dream of damaged waiting.
Life is pain; it teaches us which movements and motions we can withstand and which to avoid. Sometimes knowing what will break you is about testing that edge. But you have to move, dance, live, explore, reach, dare or there is no basis for growth and knowledge, only waiting for the damge to be revealed behind the mirror.
